I JUST HAD A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR LUNCH - A tribute to the canned pasta of the 80's

Hello again, my dearest readers. I've been trying to write this entry for about a week, but I had some strange computer problem where it would get really hot and shut itself off. I'm happy to report that the problem has somehow corrected itself, and I'm able to watch videos again. That's good news for you!

I used to love canned pasta. Come lunch time, it was always exciting to hear the hum of the can opener and the plopping noises as delicious canned goodness fell into the microwavable Tupperware container.

On top of being delicious, I always thought that the commercials for the various canned pastas were fun too. I didn't realize how many kinds of canned pasta there were until I started poking around the internet.

Now, bear with me if you will. I'm not sure if all of these brands were available in both Canada and the US. The ones I'm posting now, I distinctly remember from Canada.



Oh, Smurf-a-getti... you were indeed my favourite, but I'm afraid I never got to spend much time with you. It seems like you were always being passed over in favour of your more generic counterparts.

This commercial, while fun sounding, looked really cheaply produced. Take a look at those breakdancing Smurfs. They really don't look like they were offically licenced by the Hannah-Barbara studios. The cans, on the other hand, look like they were well drawn.

Fun fact! "Schtroumpf" is the French word for "Smurf". How do you pronounce "Schtroumpf"? Don't ask me. I've been trying for twenty years.



Dino-getti was also one of the passed-over canned pastas in my household. Looking back, I suppose that it didn't make too much of a difference. No matter what kind of canned pasta you got, they all tasted the same.

I didn't think too much about it as a kid, but now that I'm a grown man, I'd pay good money to see a band of dinosaurs play a song about a glorified ketchup and noodles product.



Zoodles seemed the the de facto standard canned pasta in my family. As I said, it didn't make a big difference since all these pastas tasted the exact same. These were just regular animals, though. They weren't Smurfs, nor were they Dinosaurs. Just plain, old, wild animals.

And what's up with the Zoodles in chicken stock? Yuck.

Now that I'm older, I probably wouldn't go anywhere near this stuff. But back in the day... oh boy, I'd be all over it!

I don't really see many commercials for canned pasta anymore. I wonder if it was deemed unhealthy by a group of extreme, but well-meaning, parents? I'm too lazy to actually read up on it, so I guess we'll never know.

That's it for now. I'll see you next time!

The Action Never Stops... at Action Park!

Hey, everyone! It's my first entry as an official co-writer here at FVA!

I figured an entry featuring local advertisements would be a good way for people to get to know who I am. So I decided to feature advertisements from a New Jersey legend, for two reasons: first, to get into a bit of regional history, and second, to show some great locally-made commercials from the 1980s.

Action Park was an amusement park located in Vernon, NJ, in the northern part of the state. It opened in 1978 and closed in 1996, and was known by such monikers as "Traction Park," "Accident Park," and "Class Action Park." These nicknames were not without merit. Stories of accidents and injuries became the legacy of Action Park. Action Park was also featured in multiple Weird NJ magazine stories (the guys who created Weird NJ also hosted a TV series, "Weird U.S." in 2004-05!) throughought the 1990s and 2000s (for the record, Weird NJ is a popular magazine here in the Garden State, featuring strange trips around my fair state).

The park was also known for it's commercials and catchy jingles. I don't personally have any memories of these, but they ran in the mid-80s, so I would have been too young to remember. However, thanks to the wonder that is YouTube, these legendary locally produced commercials live on!

This first one is from 1983, the year of my birth. Here we see New Jersey residents (you can tell by the accents, there's a nice mix of both north and south Jersey accents, if you have an ear for that sort of thing). The motto at that time was "There's Nothing in the World Like Action Park." Check out the awesome computer-animated graphics, too!

Here's are two more from sometime in the mid-80s, featuring all the fun stuff you can do at Action Park, as well as a toe-tapping theme song. No mention of life-threatening injury, however:

Well, my friends, that should do it for this edition of Fun Vintage Advertising. I'm looking forward to writing about other fun commercials from the past as a regular here at FVA!

Stay alert, stay safe!

My friends of the internet, how do you do today?

I was poking around YouTube recently, and I stumbled upon something that really, really excited me. There is a user on YouTube called Retrontario, who has uploaded about 1700 videos and commercials from Southern Ontario/Western New York, which is where I was born and raised. You can just imagine my excitement as I carefully combed over pages upon pages of old videos!

This PSA is from Retrontario. Gert and Bert helped shape me into the careful, courteous person I am today.



Little Daniel is home alone, when an attractive woman comes to the door asking to use the phone. Oh no! What is he to do? Thankfully Gert and Bert are there to remind him that he must stay alert, even when he's home alone.

I remember being told to use the line, "My parents can't come to the door right now," all the time when I was growing up. I didn't second guess it ever, until just this very moment. Let's say your parents are home. If there's someone outside who's in need of help, wouldn't you get your parents? What would they be doing where they can't come to the door? To me, saying your parents can't come to the door seems like code for, "I'm not opening the door because I'm home alone!"

I'm not sure that this series of PSA ever played outside of Canada. I've tried to find information about Gert and Bert, but it's really hard to come by. A quick read of the YouTube comments suggests that maybe these two rabbits were exclusive to Canada. Also, it seems that they still play pretty regularly too! That makes me happy, because dispite the cheese factor of these PSA's, they certainly get their points across. Even as an adult, Gert and Bert play a huge part in my life. I find that when I'm in need of advice, the best place to turn is a couple of teenaged, hoverboard-riding rabbits.