BUMPERPALOOZA, PART TWO: We'll be back after these quick messages. Sheesh!

Welcome, friends. Today, we continue our bumpercentric blog-arc by talking about Dynamo Duck. For those who don't remember, our bird friend was used by Fox Kids back in 1992. Bridging the gap between cartoons and commercials, Dynamo was always on some sort of exciting adventure.

What I was surprised to learn, though, is that Dynamo's origins go back much further than 1992. Dynamo was created by a French film maker by the name of Jean Tourane back in the 60's. Back then, our feathery little friend was known as Saturnin le canard. It wasn't until many years later that the footage was purchased by Fox and edited into a series of bumpers and two-minute shorts.


Dynamo's probably best known for his trademark voice, played by Dan Castellaneta, who voices many of the Simpsons characters.



While I don't remember seeing Dynamo during Saturday morning cartoons (Saturday mornings were all about ABC for me), I remember seeing him a lot in my after-school cartoons. Everyday, when I'd watch my Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, and Fox's Peter Pan, I knew that Dynamo would be there, about to embark on some sort of wacky adventure.

Sure, he may have faded away into obscurity. And sure, his puns may have been pretty terrible, but I say that it doesn't take away any of his awesomeness. Dynamo, my friend, you were one hell of a duck.

If you're interested in checking out some more of Dynamo Duck's five second bumpers, go check him out at Retrojunk. I wanted to use the Retrojunk video, but I didn't like the way it automatically started to play!

BUMPERPALOOZA, PART ONE: After these messages, we'll be right back!

Hello, friends! Today, I have a special treat for you. I work the Saturday morning shift at an ABC affiliate, so I have the special privilege of watching quality programming such as The Emperor's New School, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, and Hannah Montana. Between each show and each commercial break, there's a five second bumper, which I can only describe as a big, computer-generated concert featuring Hannah Montana. It's big and loud, and practically screams the name of the show at you.

(I tried to find a screenshot to describe what I'm talking about, but I couldn't. If you're really interested, get up at 8:00 on Saturday.)

Growing up, we had none of that fancy shmancy stuff. Commercial bumpers weren't big, complicated productions. They were simple, and they served one main purpose: to reassure children that their shows would, indeed, return after a few short commercials. The catchy song was just icing on the cake.



These bumpers were probably the most famous bumpers that ABC ever produced. I'm 28 years old (as of tomorrow), and I find myself humming the music from these bumpers every once in a while. According to my super-extensive research (Google), I found that these bumpers first went to air in 1988. They must have played for a long time, because I have very vivid memories of seeing them every single Saturday morning for years. My personal favourite was the one where the horse falls on the cowboy. "After these messages, we'll be right back" *whistle* *splat*. Pure gold, I tell you.

Today's series of bumpers don't hold a candle to the bumpers of yesteryear. When today's viewers turn 28, are they going to look back on Hannah Montana's computer-generated bumpers with the same sense of nostalgia? Probably not, because they're simply not memorable.

I would love to see ABC air a retro Saturday morning lineup. I'd give anything to watch The Real Ghostbusters, The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show, and Schoolhouse Rock. Of course, they'd have to include these bumpers as well!

My friend, this is going to be the closest shave you've ever had!

Today, I'm going to try something a little bit different. These commercials were made and aired long before my time, but I want to share them with the world anyway.

Back before the days of The Muppet Show, or even Sesame Street, Jim Henson was a busy man. In 1957, he was asked to produce some commercials for Wilkins Coffee. From 1957 until 1961, he produced close to two hundred commercials. Because of on-air time constraints at the time, each commercial was only eight to ten seconds long.



The two characters you see here are Wilkins and Wontkins. Wilkins, who I can only assume was a prototype for Kermit the Frog, is the guy who loves Wilkins Brand Instant Coffee. Wontkins is the blob-like guy who doesn't. Do the voices sound familiar? They're the same voices used for Kermit and Rowlf!

Henson's use of casual violence was pretty groundbreaking, considering the era when these spots used to air. I've always imagined that television in the 1950's and 60's was pretty vanilla, save for the occasional detective drama after dark. But these two creatures, fighting their coffee-related holy war, shamelessly go at it.

Indeed, the muppets have come a long way since then. It was these Wilkins commercials which really got his career going, and which ultimately landed him his job on Sesame Street. Jim Henson later went on to do work for, among other things, Star Wars, The Muppet Show, Labyrinth, and Dinosaurs. It's really amazing to see how far his muppets have come since 1957.

Hee hee hee! Oops!

Hello there, people of the internet! I hope you've had a bit of time to decompress after the holidays. (It's almost February!)

Today's commercial comes back from the early 90's. Mr. Christie, a man who has dedicated his life to the art of cookie making, took a great idea, and he made it better.



This is the story of Kevin, a happy-go-lucky, (and perhaps a little dumb) child who was cursed with a terrible condition. You see, everything he touched turned to rainbow colours. The poor kid couldn't catch a break!

While I loved this commercial back when I was a wee lad, there's a couple of things that bother me now. First of all, Kevin is just irritating! Second, he's clearly seen touching a cookie with one of his hands. Why doesn't that cookie turn to rainbow colours? It just makes no sense to me.

Can you imagine having this condition your whole life? If you thought puberty was awkward, you can only imagine how bad Kevin had it. And what about work? The only place he can really work is the tye-dye shirt factory! What kind of life is that? People don't even wear those anymore!

All that being said, I really loved the Rainbow Chips Ahoy cookies. I've said it before, and it's worth repeating: Mr. Christie, you make good cookies!