You know who always made the best holiday commercials? If you answered "The fast food industry," you'd be one-hundred percent correct.
I've talked about these commercials time and time again on this blog, but dammit, I've watched a lot of holiday commercials in the last month - A LOT - and none of them are as good as McDonald's or KFC.
It would stand to reason, then, that if McDonald's can make really, really good Christmas commercials, then they should be able to make a really, really good Christmas special. Well, it seems that's not really the case.
Until about fifteen minutes ago, I was not aware that McDonald's had ever done anything like this. This special aired on CBS in 1991 or 1992, and is probably as bad as you're imagining.
Here is the IMDB plot summary:
Ivy, an orphan wants a grandmother and a doll for Christmas. She
mistakes a sign greeting her into a town, she jumps off a bus and
shouts, "It's me, Ivy!". In the cold she looks for a grandma
unsuccessfully. She finally finds a woman who always wanted children and a
doll, Holly. Based on the book The Story of Holly and Ivy.
Seriously, that sounds terrible.
I wish that I had the stomach to watch this stupid special. I really do. As a grown man with a baby daughter, I have to sit through a lot of stuff for her sake. I love all of you, my dear readers, but not as much as I love her. You can probably find the special on YouTube, but I'm not going to search for it.
I have a lot of fun, Christmas-y commercials to share with you, and very little time to do it. You see, I update this blog from one of two places: either at a coffee shop downtown, or using stolen wi-fi at home. Downtown is really busy this time of year, what with the last-minute Christmas shopping and whatnot, and I think my neighbours are getting wise to me stealing their internet. As a result, I've decided to condense my next two entries into one SUPER LONG ENTRY!
Back when I was a wee lad, my sister and I used to watch a version of The Muppet Movie which was taped off TV sometime in the 80’s. While most of the commercials were edited out (by way of someone pausing the recording when they came on), a few of them still remained. This is one of them. The reason I remember this ad is because the jingle would get stuck in my head for days!
I had never seen the dog at the piano before this commercial, nor have I seen him since. In fact, I didn’t learn that his name was Farfel until I looked up this commercial on YouTube. According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, Farfel was featured in a number of Nestlé television spots in the 1950’s and 60’s, and was just brought out of retirement for this ad. Wikipedia says it was sometime in the mid-90’s, but I think it was closer to 1988 or 1989.
Maybe I don’t watch enough commercials aimed at children these days, but I think it’s hard to find an ad like this one anymore. (Wait, no, that's a lie. Saturday mornings at work are all about Hannah Montana et al.)
Our good friend Ebenezer Scrooge has returned for this spot for Honey Nut Cheerios. He’s not a bad man, really. Until his visit from the Honey Bee, he was probably just cranky because he didn’t appreciate the importance of a balanced breakfast.
This is such a touching commercial, because of its theme of understanding and tolerance. Scrooge was seen by everyone in the village as a villain. Why would anyone take time out of their Christmas to help this misunderstood man? That’s what Christmas is all about, though. Peace on Earth can only be achieved if we take the time to reach out to one another, and put aside all our petty differences.
Or, it’s about eating delicious cereal. Either way you slice it, it’s still a great commercial.
Also, did you know that the Honey Bee didn’t have a name for twenty-one years? From 1979 until 2000, the bee was nameless. He was named BuzzBee, later shortened to Buzz, and is now voiced by Billy West, who played Fry on Futurama. Crazy!
Let’s face it, McDonalds commercials were much better in the 80’s than they are now. You couldn’t watch a cartoon without Ronald and his friends popping up in each commercial break. They were more than just thirty seconds of burger-selling madness; they were lessons about life. You would learn about friendship, compassion, and most importantly, love. At no other time was this more true (my auto-spell check wants me to change that to “truer”, but I don’t think that’s an actual word) than during the holidays, as we’ll see in these commercials.
This first spot starts out with Birdie and Grimace wandering around the magical McDonaldland in search of a Christmas present for their best friend, Ronald. A falling star falls to the ground, prompting Birdie and Grimace to follow and catch it. When they finally capture the star, it becomes sick and stops twinkling. The problem is that it doesn’t belong on the ground, but rather in the sky, so that everyone can enjoy it. See? Chock full of life lessons about friendship, sharing, and responsibility.
This next one may not have much of a lesson, but it’s still pretty fun.
This magical spot features a lot of characters which my younger readers may not recognize. Back when the magical McDonaldland existed, there were a whole bunch of zany characters that lived there. Of course, everyone knows Ronald McDonald. He’s the leader (founder?) of McDonaldland. The next in command is Mayor McCheese, who takes care of the day to day business required to keep McDonaldland running. I’m not sure what the hell Grimace was supposed to be, but he’s Ronald’s best friend. When he was introduced in the 70’s, he had four arms and he stole milkshakes! The Hamburgler was also a thief, and although he stole hamburgers from the gang, he’s still considered a close friend. And those puffy, colourful characters? They’re Fry Kids! I don’t think they talk or do anything of importance, but they’re still pretty cool.
One thing I miss about the old characters is that you could create this whole universe around them. You learned to love them, and you got sucked into their world. If you take away the characters, then the alternate sense of reality they live in dies along with them. McDonaldland is no more. Ronald lives alone in the real world, and we all know that the real world isn’t all that fun.
Wow, there we go. Stick around, because in my next entry I'll talk about my favourite Christmas commercial yet! Until then, drive safe and love one another. I'll see you soon.
Ho ho ho! Now that we have Thanksgiving out of the way, we can start concentrating on the most important of the year-end holidays. That's right, Christmas is coming, and here at FVA, we love Christmas! (Ed. Note - We're going to start refering to the name of this blog as FVA, because Fun Vintage Advertising is long, and I'm generally lazy.)
For the next month or so, I'll be posting a number of commercials with each update. Consider it my gift to you, my dearest readers.
Our first Christmas commercial is a classic. As far as I'm concerned, the Christmas season doesn't really start until this commercial comes on. You know it, and you love it.
You've probably seen this commercial play a couple of time this year. I couldn't tell you when this commercial started airing, but it feels like it's been there my whole life.
There are a couple of things I love about this Hershey's Kisses spot. You'll notice there's no voice-over. There's no background. There are no loud, distracting colours, either. It's such a simply produced commercial, and that's what makes it so powerful. It doesn't rely on any of those crazy tricks to catch your attention. I wish more advertising was like this!
Our second commercial is also a classic, and I feel like it just isn't Christmas without it. Of course, you won't see this spot on TV anymore. It's been years since I've seen this ad.
Back in the 70's and 80's, McDonalds used to play a pretty active role in trying to appeal to children. They created this whole McUniverse, filled with magic, fun, and hamburgers. There was a whole cast of zany characters, and today only one has really survived. Ronald McDonald didn't just advertise food to children. No, rather, he taught them how to live, love, and have a fun time while doing it.
In this commercial, Ronald is taking a whole bunch of his friends out pond skating. As the cast of Babmi looks on, the children skate majestically across the ice. The young blonde boy, who I just now named Little Billy, tries his hardest to skate with everyone else. The problem is that he just doesn't know how. Everybody is having a grand ol' time while Little Billy just looks on. The other children ignore Little Billy, but not Ronald. Ronald doesn't actually teach Little Billy to skate, but instead just spins him around in the air a couple of times.
It's such a heart-warming commercial, which I feel really represents the Christmas spirit. This commercial isn't about selling Happy Meals to children, it's about something much, much bigger: peace and love. With the Christmas season being so commercialized, it's very refreshing to take a step back and realize that there's so much more to the season than profits.
My friends, my dear readers, enjoy this holiday season. If you'd like, how about sharing a little Christmas memory or two in the comments. Are there any commercials you'd like me to write about? Let me know!
Take care of yourself, and I'll see you again soon with some more of my favourite commercials!
