Putt putt for the fun of it!

Spring is finally here, and I'm feeling a little homesick. It seems that when I'm homesick, I like to troll the internet for stuff that makes me even more homesick. There's a Youtube channel that I've talked about before, called Retrontario. They have all sorts of old commercials from Southern Ontario and Western New York. That channel is nothing but pure gold.

Now, if you love mini golf and catchy jingles, I have just the thing for you!


This commercial played over and over again for most of my childhood. I'm now 31 years old, and I haven't been able to get this stupid song out of my head. I'm not complaining, because it's a pretty great song.

Now, I'm no good at golf, be it mini or full-sized. I've always been fascinated by it, though. (The same applies to bowling.) I feel like it's something that I should like, because look at all those people in the ad! They're having the time of their lives! It's fun! The last time I played mini-golf was about two years ago. My wife was quite pregnant, and we had absolutely nothing to do that day. It was a fantastic day for a round of mini-golf. I did horribly, but my wife was actually pretty good.

I bet that putt putt course was the place to be on a Friday night in the towns of Tonawanda and Cheektowaga, New York back in the 80's.

Anyway, I really have nothing of any substance to add to this. It's a fun commercial with a fun jingle. Really, what more could you ask for?

FVA's Christmas Ad-Stravaganza 2013 - Part Three of Hopefully More Than One

I was in town last night, doing some groceries, when suddenly I got really angry.

Y'see, for a lot of people, the holidays can be really hard. For me, last night, I think my problem was that I was just tired of being so overwhelmed with all things Christmas.

I love my job so much. I love working in television. It's hard, though, having to listen to the same Christmas commercials over and over and over again. It's almost too much for one person to take. On the drive home, you see all the stores and everything are decorated for Christmas. You listen to the radio, and all you hear are Christmas ads. You go out shopping, and it's nothing but Christmas music.

I'm not a religious man by any stretch, but I understand that Christmas is something more than just all-out commercialism. It has to be. Whatever happened to goodwill towards man? What about taking care of those in need?

As I walked through the grocery store last night, I thought to myself, "There's only one person in the world who really understands what I'm going through. That person is Charlie Brown."



(Did you see how I tied that all together?)

This particular commercial aired 1986, back when CBS had the rights to A Charlie Brown Christmas. (They ended up losing the rights to ABC in 2001, where it has aired every year since)

There was always something about A Charlie Brown Christmas that really resonated with me. As a kid, I loved getting gifts as much as anyone, but even then I knew there was more to Christmas than just getting stuff.

Frosty the Snowman was also featured on this promo. Ol' Frosty and I go way back. Long-time readers will recall how my sister and I used to watch old VHS tapes of cartoons all the time. Well, this was one of them! I love Frosty, but honestly, I haven't watched this one in years.

Well, friends, I'm sorry that I got all preachy on you today. I promise the new year will start with a much more positive attitude from yours truly.

Have a good Christmas, and I'll see you next year.

FVA's Christmas Ad-Stravaganza 2013 - Part Two of Hopefully More Than One

You know who always made the best holiday commercials? If you answered "The fast food industry," you'd be one-hundred percent correct.

I've talked about these commercials time and time again on this blog, but dammit, I've watched a lot of holiday commercials in the last month - A LOT - and none of them are as good as McDonald's or KFC.

It would stand to reason, then, that if McDonald's can make really, really good Christmas commercials, then they should be able to make a really, really good Christmas special. Well, it seems that's not really the case.



Until about fifteen minutes ago, I was not aware that McDonald's had ever done anything like this. This special aired on CBS in 1991 or 1992, and is probably as bad as you're imagining.

Here is the IMDB plot summary:

Ivy, an orphan wants a grandmother and a doll for Christmas. She mistakes a sign greeting her into a town, she jumps off a bus and shouts, "It's me, Ivy!". In the cold she looks for a grandma unsuccessfully. She finally finds a woman who always wanted children and a doll, Holly. Based on the book The Story of Holly and Ivy. 

 Seriously, that sounds terrible.

I wish that I had the stomach to watch this stupid special. I really do. As a grown man with a baby daughter, I have to sit through a lot of stuff for her sake. I love all of you, my dear readers, but not as much as I love her. You can probably find the special on YouTube, but I'm not going to search for it.

If you don't want to search for it, but you want to learn more, I found this helpful review.

That's it for me today. I'll see you again real soon!

Edit from later that night: My wife and I ended up finding this special on YouTube. We got through two minutes of it, then delared it unwatchable.

FVA's Christmas Ad-Stravaganza 2013 - Part One of Hopefully More Than One

I've decided that I want to get an early start on our FVACAS this year, and get at least one post per week in before Christmas. Maybe... just maybe... we'll see some entries from our friends along the way!

This first commercial is from Hardees.


I  actually had to look up whether or not it was the actual burger chain, or some other business which shares that name. Y'see, I'm not from 'round these here parts. Where I'm from, there was no Hardees or Carl's Jr., and so I never even knew that this chain existed until I moved to Missouri. When I arrived here, Hardees was already into their sexy-nearly-naked-woman-covered-in-delicious-condiments phase. (I Googled that, and somehow didn't get any porn...)

Anyway, it had never occurred to me that Hardees could be anything but sleazy. I have no idea when this ad aired, but I know it was sometime in the 80's. This ad is so wholesome, and it features Disney characters, kids, and old people. It's quite the stark contrast to their current advertising campaign

---

This next commercial starts with Bill Cosby sneaking up and yelling at some innocent kids.




I don't really have much to say about this one, except that it features Bill Cosby and Jello. Look how much fun those kids are having! You have to admire their patience, because everyone knows that it takes forever to make Jello.

Well, friends, that's it until next week. See you then!

FVA's Halloween Extravaganza 2013!

Hello friends! You didn't think I would go for the entire year without posting something, did you?

Today, we're going to talk a little about Halloween. I don't think I really need to tell you that there have been many, many spooky commercials over the last couple of decades. Let's take a look at some of them, shall we?

This first one is a Toys 'R' Us ad from 1980. Let's watch:


 

 

One thing that immediately stands out is the music. It's a perfect mix of spooky and zany. I like the lack of a voice-over for the first half of the commercial. It's not yelling at you to buy anything. Without a word, this commercial says "Hey, it's Halloween! You better start thinking of what you want to dress up as!" (That sounds grammatically incorrect. Would that be "You better start thinking of that as which you would like to dress?")

And check out this imagery!

Oh no, the cat is throwing up 

ghosts, witches, and other scary things.

Come in here! Y'gotta see this...

(followed by...)

Oh my god, a dancing skeleton!

Geoffrey, you wacky giraffe, you didn't 

prepare me for that!

And check out some these two costumes.

Gimpy Big Bird

Gimpy Yoda

Those are probably the lamest costumes I've ever seen. Maybe they were pretty cool by 1980s standards, but I don't think they'd hold up too much today. Why would Yoda wear a t-shirt with his own image on it?

All in all, I would still call this a pretty fun commercial. It has everything: great music, spooky animation, and terrible costumes.

---

The fun doesn't end there, though. That last spot, great as it was, came out about two and a half years before I was born. Here's one that I distinctly remember from, well, sometime in the 90's.

Pizza Head was a blatant Mr. Bill rip-off that Pizza Hut used from 1993 until 1997. If you're a piece of pizza, this commercial really stabs at all your nightmares!

Pizza-cutter mummy

Pizza-cutter scary picture

Pizza-cutter vampire

I forgot just how much I loved Pizza Head, which is weird when you consider that I really hate Mr. Bill.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. I've got one more commercial that I'm going to try to get to before Halloween, and if it doesn't get put up this year, it'll definitely be around next year.

Until then, have a happy Halloween!